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Thursday, September 1, 2011

Thoughts on Loss, Packing Up, and Something Adorable

Note: The first [and second] topics can be depressing. Feel free to skip to the second topic or straight to the bottom for adorable pandas.

I've had quite a few friends and coworkers discover they're pregnant this year. It's a strange concept for me to grasp, I suppose.

I don't imagine myself in either circumstance until I'm in my late 20s. This is that time in your life when you should discover who you are, do something spontaneous, and just live.

But just living isn't the same when you've heard news that literally takes your breath away.
An old co-worker of mine lost his three-month-old son last week. He had pulled over to the side of the road to change a flat tire, when out of nowhere, a drunk driver smashed into the backside of his car. Able to get his wife out, they were unable to get out his son. Sadly, the baby passed away at the scene.

I remember watching the news that night, only seeing the accident and hearing pieces about it. But I was completely blindsided when I heard at work just who it was. It's heart wrenching to imagine young parents going through such an extreme loss. They will forever be traumatized by the simple fact that their son's life was cut short by an idiots mistake to drink and drive.

A week later, and I learn another friend - an online buddy - has lost her child prematurely. Whether it was genetics, or under development is still unseen. But it's the amount of happiness and joy a pregnancy, a child, and a future to hold on to, have on people. Six to ten weeks in a pregnancy is still a tough time to lose a baby. All the happiness, hormones, dreaming, hoping, yearning, excitement.... slips from your fingertips.

It's why people shouldn't just live. They should live for the ones that were unable. Live for those that didn't get to experience life. Make yours memorable and unforgettable. Because the next thing you know; it'll be gone.


Some days, I just wish I could pack up and leave for college. I wish I could have that experience of leaving home, moving to a new city, and learning about life. I want to leave the hum-drum of this rut and see the world as a college student. I'd like to study abroad, live in a dorm, and just be free of worrying about bills or work and the continuous circle that can be.

For once I'd like to be normal. For once I'd like to actually live like most people my age. For once I'd like people to take me seriously; to respect me as a person, a friend. For once, I wish people would see me for me, and not just my sarcastic, self-confident wall.

But instead I feel like I'm jogging on a treadmill, looking out the window at the runners outside. It's the same motion, just in place and without any real movement.


Adorable pandas! ENJOY!

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