Thoughts on Affection, Justice, and Writer's Block

I always feel really weird about affection.

I'm not someone that acts a particular way to entice guys, or be a girl that knows what she's got and how to use it. Honestly, I'm just being myself.

Thoughts on Hurricane Irene, Timothy, & the East End

A tree was uprooted on our block.  We were thankful to find that as the largest catastrophe to greet us on Cambridge Drive when we arrived home from mandatory evacuation on Sunday afternoon.

Sure, there were branches to clean up around the house and a den to reassemble, but we didn't flood, which is quite a miracle, and we didn't have any trees in our house, which was beautiful.  Also, our cats don't hate us all that much for stuffing them in the traveling cage and hauling ass to Granny's in the city.  Which can only be an act of God.

Thoughts on Fidgeting, Neville Longbottom, & Feeling Grimy

On my summer days, I like to strut around in a bathing suit without makeup and get tan.  Oh, and I get paid for it.  Because I'm a Red Cross-certified swim instructor.  What can I say?  It's summertime and the livin' is easy.

But, there are days when it's sunny and hot and I can't convince myself that sitting inside is a good idea for very long.  On these days, when I don't have work, it's either feel guilty about wasting a beautiful day, or get my ass outside and tan.  I do go outside and I do enjoy the sun.  For awhile.  Until I start getting distracted.

Let's just say, if I didn't have an outdoor summer job, I'd never get tan.

I don't have the attention span to just sit.  I can read for hours.  I can watch a movie or multiple episodes of a show.  I can be online.  I'll even lay out at the beach.  But, when I'm in my own backyard, there are just too many distractions; I can't sit still.  I drink too much water as it is, so I'm constantly running inside to the bathroom.  I sit in a chair, lay on my stomach, sit in the grass.  I listen to music, I read.  I get hungry.  I want to read something else.  I need more water.  I just keep fidgeting, up and down, inside and out, running around, always moving.  And, what's odd, it's entirely a summertime affliction.

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Thoughts on Love, Being Overtired, & Bathroom Acoustics

I am currently watching The Matrix for the first time.  I feel like it's constantly on TV, but the Fates always conspired to keep me from watching it - something else more interesting is on, Mom is home and won't change the channel, I turn it on too late to understand anything.  Like I always like to say, I'm also not usually the top to just sit myself in front of the television and turn on a movie.  I always feel like there's something more important I could be doing.

I also think the bellybutton bug freaked me out the first time I tried to watch this.  Because my dad, knowing how soul twin-ish we usually are with all this kickass sci-fi/fantasy action/adventure/sentient computers, was all, "You're gonna love this!"  And then I was all, "I'm eight and WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED."

Anyway, we just saw the part in the movie when Neo (Keanu - whoa! - for those of you who aren't pop culture savvy) goes to see the Oracle, the awesome old black woman who tells him not to feel bad about breaking the vase.  To avoid spoilers and give some focus to this little vignette, I'll just focus on the line that made me go all warm and fuzzy inside: "No one needs to tell you you're in love.  You just know it, through and through."

Thoughts on The Valley, Work Crushes, Clear Tape

Every morning I drive through a valley to get to work. It's farm land, soccer fields, and where the majority of my hometown sits. Huge hot air balloons take off and land here, and people come to watch the spectacle of Ultimate Frisbee during a weekend tournament.

In the morning, I drive on a small back road to go down into the valley and across. The sun rises at my back, lighting my destination in golden rays. A light mist lingers mere feet over the farmer's crops and above the creek that cuts the valley in half. On the distant hill, more fog shrouds buildings, but is quickly dissipating from the sunrise.

I cross some railroad tracks that haven't seen a train in over fifteen years. Weeds grow between the ties, nearly hiding the existence of the iron beams and railroad spikes still firmly in place. Taking one last look at the valley, I won't see it for another eight hours, on my trek home with the sun once more at my back.

Thoughts on Job Hunting, Bedtime, & Inter-species Love

I actually applied for jobs today, instead of just saying I did to appease my mom and really spending all day sitting around my house.  And thank God I did.  A large book chain (which shall remain nameless) finally got in touch, after jerking me around for the last two weeks or so, to say I hadn't gotten the position.  No hard feelings, though.  I just hope Babylon Bean comes through now.  That would be fun.

It's not that I don't want to find a job.  I do - I really do.  I need the money.  My summer job doesn't start for another month and a half.  I'm going stir crazy, being cooped in the house.  I'm just terrible at talking to people with some kind of authority.  I have some kind of mental roadblock to asking for a job application in person.  And I hate talking on the phone.  And I feel like an idiot when I just wander into stores and keep spouting about employment opportunities.  That all kind of makes asking, "Are you hiring?" tougher than it should be.  Maybe I just think things through too much.

But, hopefully, something will come of all this.  New coworkers, new friends, new romances (even if only imagined).  I pictured myself canoodling in the stacks at this local booksellers chain.  But I can find love in a coffee shop, too.

I just wish I knew how to make a latte.